"John, please count to 15."

"1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15."

"John, why did you skip half the numbers?"

"I can’t even."

why did 4 wedding blogs follow me today? I haven’t posted in weeks and I’ve never posted anything wedding related.

If you think about it potatoes don’t really get all that much credit

they’re fucking awesome

this one thing here

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can be made into:

different variations of fries

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regular,

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curly,

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waffle.

It can be made into chips

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or ruffly 

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you can make hashbrowns with it

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even a salad

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add some fuckin cheese to those potatoes

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you can have it sliced and diced

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or baked

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you can make tater tots

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hell you can even eat the skin

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or just have little potato nuggets

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thank u potatoes

HOW DO YOU FORGET MASHED POTATOES?

(via ruinedchildhood)

deerhoof:

the future is here and it’s horrible

The future is here and it has impeccable comedic timing.

(via thats-so-meme)

sicknotstupid:

bagelnerd:

sicknotstupid:

What are bagels even made out of

love

Thanks bagelnerd

Disappointment and boiled dough.

(via ruinedchildhood)

Bro food.

Bro food.

(via ruinedchildhood)

whatheballs:

This article is great because that author tried to put in as many dick jokes that he possibly could.

(via ruinedchildhood)

fuck-yourstandards:

In high school ya gotta learn that if you’re late you might as well be hella late and go have some breakfast or some shit

When I was in high school one of my friends showed up late and said to the teacher “Julie’s going to be late, I saw her car at Starbucks on my way here.” and 20 minutes later Julie showed up with some lame-ass excuse about traffic, and the teacher just said “There was a lot of traffic at Starbucks?”

(via ruinedchildhood)